The adage that “time heals all wounds” is a crock! Healing from trauma isn’t just about time passing—it’s about the small, intentional choices made every day. Your journey to reclaiming peace and joy isn’t linear. Those of you who are actively working to heal from trauma know just how rough it can be to fight your way out of the darkness. It takes time, effort, and self-compassion.
People who have done the deep work of healing develop daily habits that help them maintain their progress. If you’ve been wondering what life looks like on the other side of trauma, here are nine actions healed people do every day to protect their peace, joy, and emotional well-being.
1. They Set Boundaries Without Guilt
People who have healed from trauma no longer sacrifice their well-being to make others comfortable. The habit of people-pleasing and overextending themselves is no longer an option. As they heal, they learn to honor their limits without guilt. They say “no” when needed—without excessive explanations or apologies. Their boundaries are not set for others; they are set for themselves.
People who have experienced narcissistic abuse struggle with difficulties setting clear and firm boundaries. Learning how to honor your values and respect your boundaries helps you to heal. In the very beginning stages of healing trauma, you may find it difficult. As you continue to work through your experiences and process your emotions your ability to set boundaries strengthens.
Why It Matters: Trauma often teaches people to overextend themselves to feel safe or accepted. Healing means realizing that your needs matter.
Try This: If setting a boundary feels uncomfortable, remind yourself:
“Part of protecting myself is prioritizing my peace.”
2. They Start the Day With Self-Compassion
Instead of waking up and immediately feeling overwhelmed, healed people start their day with self-check-in. They acknowledge their feelings without judgment and offer themselves kindness rather than criticism.
Trauma experienced from narcissistic abuse makes it difficult for survivors to practice self-compassion. They spend so much time making sure the narcissist is cared for they lose sight of their own needs. As they heal from trauma they become thrives. Their ability to practice self-compassion improves.
Why It Matters: Trauma creates a harsh inner critic. Healing involves replacing that voice with one that is nurturing and compassionate.
Try This: Begin your morning with a simple affirmation:
“I am safe, and healing. I am worthy.”
3. They Reclaim Their Body Through Movement
Healing from trauma is not just mental—it’s physical, too. Whether it’s stretching, yoga, or one of my personal favorites—a nice walk—movement is a powerful way to reset and reconnect. Even something as simple as deep breathing can help ground you and release tension. Find what feels good to you, and make it a habit.
Why It Matters: Trauma often disconnects people from their bodies, making them feel unsafe or numb. Relearning to move in a way that feels good is an act of self-trust and stabilization.
Try This: Start your day with a 60-second shake-out dance to release tension and reset your nervous system.
Bonus: Make yourself a “peaceful playlist”—blasting my tunes while I get ready always helps me start my day strong.
4. They Release Perfectionism
People who have healed from trauma let go of impossible standards. They no longer believe they must be flawless to be worthy. Instead, they allow themselves to be human, make mistakes, and grow from them.
Why It Matters: Perfectionism is often a trauma response rooted in the need to feel in control. Healing replaces perfectionism with self-acceptance.
Try This: When perfectionist thoughts creep in, ask yourself:
“Would I say this to a dear friend?”
This simple question interrupts the cycle of self-judgment and reminds you to extend yourself the same patience and grace you offer others.
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GET THE DOWNLOADS5. They Engage in Safe, Healthy Connections
Healed people are intentional about who they spend time with. They no longer tolerate unsafe or toxic relationships out of obligation or fear. They recognize true emotional safety and remove themselves from connections that feel draining, one-sided, or harmful.
People who have experienced narcissistic abuse struggle with trusting themselves and evaluating relationships in the beginning stages of healing from trauma. They frequently doubt themeselves, second-guess and struggle with making decisions.
Why It Matters: Trauma can make people tolerate unhealthy relationships for too long. Healing means learning what safe, reciprocal relationships feel like.
Try This: If someone consistently drains your energy, pause and reflect:
“Does this relationship nourish or deplete me?”
6. They Honor Their Emotional Needs
Instead of suppressing emotions, healed people allow themselves to feel. They recognize, name, and process their emotions without shame. They do not judge themselves for having difficult feelings. Instead, they approach their emotions with curiosity and compassion.
Why It Matters: Trauma often teaches people to suppress emotions to survive. Healing means giving yourself permission to feel and process.
Try This: When a difficult feeling arises, name it:
“I am feeling ___, and that’s okay.”
Healed people do not return to toxic people (narcissists, unsafe environments) for comfort. Instead, they rely on healthy coping skills and supportive connections.
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7. They Create Small Moments of Joy
Healing doesn’t mean life is always perfect—but it does mean being intentional about finding joy. Whether it’s listening to music, watching the sunset, rewatching a favorite comfort show, or laughing at a meme, healed people make space for joy.
Why It Matters: Trauma often shifts the brain into survival mode, making joy feel distant. Healing means reclaiming joy.
Try This: Keep a “joy list” of small things that make you happy, and commit to doing one daily.
8. They Ground Themselves in the Present
Trauma often keeps the nervous system on high alert. Grounding practices help bring a sense of safety back to the present moment. Rather than being consumed by the past or future, healed people stay centered in the here and now with mindfulness techniques.
Try This: When feeling overwhelmed, use the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding method:
5 things you see
4 things you feel
3 things you hear
2 things you smell
1 thing you taste
9. They Speak Kindly to Themselves
One of the most powerful shifts in healing is self-talk. Healed people replace self-criticism with encouragement. They hold themselves accountable without demanding perfection. They acknowledge progress and practice patience with themselves.
Why It Matters: The voice we hear most often is our own. Healing means making that voice one of love and support.
Try This: If you catch yourself in self-criticism, reframe it into self-compassion:
“I am doing my best, and that is enough.”
Final Thoughts: Healing Is a Daily Practice
Healing is not about perfection—it’s about progress. These daily habits aren’t just for “healed” people; they are practices that support you, no matter where you are in your journey. Healing from narcissistic abuse and trauma isn’t just about moving on —it’s about coming home to yourself. It’s about rebuilding self-trust after years of doubt, reclaiming your inner peace, and rediscovering who you are beyond the pain. When you prioritize your healing, you gain clarity, confidence, and your authentic self. You are not shaped by past wounds.
This journey is about more than just survival; it’s about living with integrity, standing in your truth, and honoring your needs without guilt. As you heal, you learn that being genuine—with yourself and others—is the key to breaking free. You no longer shape-shift to be accepted; instead, you embrace who you were always meant to be.
Healing from trauma is a life-changing experience, not just in how you see the world, but in how you see yourself—worthy, whole, and powerful. This is your time to step fully into YOU.
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