Right now you might be struggling. You can heal from narcissistic abuse. If you are reading this it probably means you are trying to figure out how to overcome one of the most painful times in your life. Being with a narcissist long-term is very damaging on multiple levels. After being with a narcissist it is common to feel confused, lost, unsure, depressed, angry, and a ton of other emotions. This post will give you some healthy habits you can use to start healing from narcissistic abuse.
Do not gaslight yourself
Gaslighting is a common narcissistic behavior. Narcissists do this to avoid responsibility and vulnerability. They also do this as a way to make you question yourself and your reality. Gaslighting is a manipulation tactic to throw you off course. Start the healing habit of recognizing your truth. Your experiences and emotions are valid. Begin to trust yourself. As you begin to stop doubting yourself you can trust yourself more. The narcissistic fog of confusion will begin to lift. This will put you in a position of power.
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Imagine a future where the weight of overwhelm, exhaustion, and feeling powerless is lifted from your shoulders. Picture yourself living in a newfound clarity, cutting through the fog of confusion that once clouded your heart. Engaging in these activities you will find the strength to break free from the bonds of narcissistic trauma and step into a life filled with peace and joy.
GET THE DOWNLOADSSave yourself for yourself
Many survivors of narcissistic abuse have shared the love they have for the narcissist caused them to give more than they had to give. This left them without anything for themselves. One of the ways you heal from a narcissistic abusive relationship is by recognizing you do not have to give every bit of yourself to the narcissist. When you save yourself for yourself it allows you to focus on loving yourself. This is not selfish it is an act of self-love. You do not have to sacrifice everything about yourself or your life to love the narcissist. Do what is best for you. The narcissist does not struggle with putting their needs, goals, and values before you.
Pour into your cup
You may have seen that quote that is shared across the Internet a million times about how an empty cup has nothing to pour. It’s not just a popular saying it is true. When you are in a narcissistic relationship it is very easy to give endlessly to the narcissist. You do this out of love without expecting anything in return. Because narcissists are entitled, they do not struggle with taking whatever you are offering. They don’t fully appreciate you or your generosity. Before you know it you are drained of all of the happiness and joy that you once had with them.
Create the new habit of pouring into your cup. Pour all of the love you were pouring into the narcissist into yourself. This doesn’t make you selfish. It speaks to you valuing yourself enough to know you matter. Your needs are important. Fill yourself up with goodness and grace.
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FIND JOYRemember you are powerful
After spending time with a narcissist it is easy to forget who you are after it all. Many survivors reported feeling like they don’t even know who they are anymore. This happens because they’ve given so much to the narcissist they lose themselves. To make the narcissist happy you may have given way more than you had to give. Narcissists avoid and will take as much as you have to offer.
After experiencing gaslighting, projection, and other forms of manipulation your confidence is likely to have taken a severe dip. This leaves you feeling powerless. You are less likely to make changes in your life. Replace this behavior with a healthy habit of recalling your strengths. Practice trusting yourself. Own your power. You might feel sad at times when you think about the person you were before the narcissist entered your life. As you become more powerful you will be able to resist narcissistic manipulation. This will allow you to take control of your life healthily.
Know and explore your values
A lot of times we gain our values through family, spiritual, societal, and cultural influences. Part of healing from narcissistic abuse means exploring your values personally. This also means letting go of the unhealthy values the narcissist has forced on you. Get to know more about yourself. Making the habit of becoming more deeply aware of your likes and dislikes will give you more confidence. Begin to understand yourself on a deeper level. Explore what values are supportive for you. Then use them to help you make decisions as you are moving forward. Live out your values daily.
Create safety
Survivors of narcissistic abuse experience increased levels of post-trauma stress disorder (PTSD) and grief. One way to decrease some of these symptoms is by creating safety and stability. A lot of times victims and survivors of narcissistic abuse will talk about how being with the narcissist felt like walking on eggshells. Part of creating a healthy healing experience means creating a safe and comfortable environment. When we think about safety it’s important to consider all aspects of safety (financial, emotional, physical, etc.) It is hard to make clear decisions when you’re living in constant panic.
Monitor your emotional and mental energy
It is draining to be with the narcissist. as you are healing there will be times when you can fully step in and advocate on your behalf. There will also be times when you may not feel driven to make meaningful changes in your life. Resist the urge to argue with the narcissist. This is another manipulation the narcissist may use to drain you of your energy. When you are warned down from all of the fighting you are less likely to flee. This puts the narcissist in a position of power. Start the habit of evaluating your emotional and mental energy before you engage in activities. Evaluate your energy before you take action. Give yourself permission to take breaks as needed.
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