As a counselor for 14 plus years who has worked with many victims and survivors of narcissistic abuse, I have been asked by many people “How do I get revenge on the narcissist” more times than I can count. This might surprise you but it’s true. The person asking the question is hurt, and a lot of times they are in the anger stage of grief.
People want justice. They don’t want the narcissist to win. Healing from narcissistic abuse also means dealing with the unfair parts of working through your healing.
Asking how can I get revenge on the narcissist might not mean you want a bus to randomly hit the narcissist in the middle of the street, but you might not be so mad it if happened, especially after finding out about another betrayal from them.
The feeling of wanting revenge, or karma to crush your narcissist doesn’t make you a bad person. A lot of times it means you are hurt by what has happened and you are looking for justice.
I don’t have to tell you if you have had any dealings with a narcissist at one time or another you have felt drained, defeated, frustrated, and confused. It’s important to recognize revenge perpetuates negativity and prevents personal growth.
This post will show you how to get revenge on your narcissist by living well. Together we will explore a more empowering path—one that focuses on emotional healing and self-improvement. These transformative points will help you burn the narcissist’s dark cold slimy insides. Not that it’s a competition but if you want to win and get revenge on the narcissist this post will show you how.
Acknowledge Your Feelings
Your feelings matter. When dealing with the narcissist you probably started to consider the narcissist’s feelings more than your own. When your emotions did surface from the undertow of the narcissist manipulation you probably felt angry, anxious, depressed, confused, betrayed, and worried. These emotions are valid. It is important to identify and acknowledge your feelings. Do this without judging yourself. If you felt triggered by being unheard, neglected, unseen, or invalidated you are not wrong to acknowledge it.
When you allow yourself to experience your feelings, you start the healing process. You aren’t stuffing your emotions down. Tucking the grief, pain, and frustration away is not the answer. All of the hurt and betrayal show up later. Unresolved trauma lives in your body, head, and heart. Embracing your emotions and practicing self-compassion are supportive steps to healing. As you move forward from the toxic relationship putting yourself first is an important part of healing.
Let Go of Toxic Attachments
One of the most powerful steps you can take to heal from narcissistic abuse is breaking toxic attachments. The trauma bond is one of the hardest challenges to break. When you do this, you open yourself up to all the new chapters of your life. The toxic attachment formed in the unhealthy connection to the narcissist keeps you trapped. Once you let go of the toxic attachment to the narcissist, they no longer have power over you. You begin to live for yourself.
Seeking revenge will keep you tethered to the narcissist’s negativity. When the narcissist is still your primary focus, they are still in control of you. Free yourself by cutting ties in every way, emotionally, financially, socially, physically, and digitally. Surround yourself with supportive friends and family who can help you rebuild your life on a healthier foundation.
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Start your healing process from the pain caused by the person your heart loves the most. Find the clarity you need to stop heartache and confusion. Release yourself from the hurt caused by grief and betrayal. This book helps you explore your unique healing journey out of narcissistic abuse. It’s all the most talked about parts of the healing process for you to start healing now.
FIND JOYGo to Counseling
In addition to breaking the unhealthy attachment to the narcissist, get yourself a great counselor. Choose a counselor who understands narcissistic abuse and narcissistic personality disorder. Add bonus points for the counselor who understands betrayal trauma.
This is the next step in healing from the hurt experienced by the narcissist. The counselor can help you work through various points of grief, betrayal trauma, anxiety, stress, depression, PTSD, C-PTSD, and more. Counseling also helps you to get out of the darkness of the narcissist as you begin to rewire your mind and mend your heart.
Find a counselor you feel comfortable talking to about your experiences and emotions. Typically, this type of counseling takes a bit longer. Do not be discouraged. Be careful about selecting a counselor who does not understand narcissism, and narcissistic personality disorder as their support might be well-intentioned but invalidating and unhelpful. Counseling for narcissistic abuse recovery is a specialized area.
Focus on Self-Care and Self-Love
If you really want to hit the narcissist where it hurts love yourself. Focusing on your self-care and self-love takes the focus off of the narcissist. Become so centered on doing what is best for you, that you no longer have time to play into the narcissist manipulations. Do not lose yourself. Even if you do not want to lose the narcissist you cannot afford to lose yourself. Investing in self-care is a powerful act of self-love. Rediscover all of the unique parts of yourself. Engage in activities that nourish your mind, body, and soul. Exercise regularly, practice mindfulness, indulge in hobbies, and practice healthy habits that support your personal growth. Practicing self-love allows you to increase your confidence, making it easier to rise above the need for revenge.
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Imagine a future where the weight of overwhelm, exhaustion, and feeling powerless is lifted from your shoulders. Picture yourself living in a newfound clarity, cutting through the fog of confusion that once clouded your heart. Engaging in these activities you will find the strength to break free from the bonds of narcissistic trauma and step into a life filled with peace and joy.
GET THE DOWNLOADSCultivate Empathy and Understanding for Yourself
Although it is tempting to harbor resentment, remember narcissists suffer from deep-rooted insecurities and a lack of genuine self-love. The negativity the narcissists have about themselves is their problem and not yours. That’s a nice little package of revenge and karma packed tightly for them, all by themselves. If you have been discarded from the narcissist, remember they have to live with themselves every day and that’s a punishment in itself.
By cultivating empathy and understanding, you break the cycle of negativity. This shift in mindset allows you to focus on your growth and well-being, rather than seeking revenge.
Embrace Personal Growth and Peace
If you really want to get revenge on a narcissist live well. Focus on your personal growth and peace. Focusing on your personal healing journey puts you in the driver’s seat of your life. The narcissist will no longer have power over you and your life. Use the pain, anger, sadness, frustration, and hurt as power to propel you forward. Consider the experiences as fuel for improving your life. Set ambitious goals and crush them. Explore new opportunities. Embrace the newness of your life. Lean hard into your freedom. Work towards becoming the healed version of yourself. Celebrate your achievements, no matter how small. Remember your journey is unique to you.
Finally, getting revenge on a narcissist might provide temporary satisfaction, but it will ultimately hinder you. Focusing on getting revenge on the narcissist takes the healthy focus off of you and puts it on the narcissist. They have already taken enough. Do not give them any more of your life. Let your healing, and joy come from inside of you.
Choose the path of self-care, self-love, and personal development. Consider shifting your focus from getting revenge to creating a brighter future for yourself. Remember, your happiness and healing are an act of triumph over the narcissists. Rise above, embrace your power, and create a life filled with love, joy, and peace.
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