No matter what type of narcissist you are dealing with you can expect insults to happen. Insults come in the form of direct comments, backhanded compliments, shaming, guilt-tripping, and other manipulative behaviors. protect your mental and emotional health by knowing how to respond when a narcissist insults you with this post.
The more comfortable the narcissist is with you the less comfortable you are with the narcissist. Their comfort level empowers them to assert and manipulate for their best interest frequently. Once they know they are in a position of power and control they will insult you. They do this for many reasons. Maintaining control, and increasing your feelings of insecurity and inferiority keep you stuck and them in control. If you feel small you are less likely to break free from their abuse. The narcissist will have you right where they want you. Stuck and powerless.
Stay Calm And Composed
So many emotions are involved when you are dealing with a narcissist it is important to remain calm and composed. Emotional reactions and outbursts make them feel more in control. This sense of power makes them feel a false sense of confidence. Sadly, they like it when you don’t feel confident.
Remaining calm and composed will help you to make healthy decisions. It is hard to respond appropriately when your emotions are escalated or disorganized. It is hard for survivors to think and behave rationally when they are constantly being manipulated by the narcissist. Remain calm and talk a break if you need to before engaging with the narcissist.
When the narcissist insults you practice processing your truth. Identify for yourself what the truth is and the projection the narcissist is making. Remember, you are not who or what the narcissist says about you. They do not control your worth.
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Don’t Take It Personal
This is super hard because the insults are directly coming at you or something that you care about. Respectfully, it is not about you. The narcissist has the issue. Sometimes it really is them and not you.
Dealing with the narcissist is difficult. Remember you are dealing with an illogical individual when you are dealing with a narcissist. Their insults, judgments, criticisms, and comments all have to do with keeping you stuck. Narcissists insult you to make themselves feel better. Their insults are not about you. The insults are a reflection of their own insecurities and issues.
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GET THE DOWNLOADSSet Firm Boundaries
Setting clear and firm boundaries protects you from continued emotional mental and other forms of abuse. If it is safe to do so express how the insults are not acceptable and you will not tolerate that type of behavior. If it is possible do not interact or engage with the narcissist.
Be Direct In Your Communication
Practice effective communication with the narcissist. Speak firmly and calmly when communicating with the narcissist. Consider using the B.I.F.F. and D.E.E.P. techniques to have productive conversations with the narcissist. It is not helpful to share what you feel or any other emotions with the narcissist because it can be used for manipulation.
When the narcissist insults you do not fight back with insults in return. This is done as an attempt to bait you into a conflict. These types of behaviors fuel the narcissist behavior and could potentially lead to more dangerous interactions. Also, more manipulation and arguments with the narcissist can happen.
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FIND JOYGo to Counseling
In addition to connecting with your support system of family and friends go to counseling. Having a professional counselor in your support system is a great way to continue your healing journey. Choose a counselor who understands narcissism and narcissistic abuse. You can expect to learn effective communication tips, the narcissistic cycle of abuse, ways to manage anxiety and depression along with processing betrayal trauma and grief just to name a few areas that frequently come up in session. There are many topics you can work through with a trusted professional counselor for effective guidance and support.
It is important to remember you cannot control the narcissist’s behavior. You can control how you respond. You do not deserve to be treated with disrespect and it is important to remember that the narcissist’s insults do not define you.
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