The scars that come from being with a narcissist take significant time to heal. If you are not careful narcissistic abuse will leave you deeply emotionally and mentally wounded. Betrayal trauma, intense grief, and processing of your emotions and experiences are important. You need to know healing from narcissistic abuse is possible. This post will teach you how to not only survive but thrive after narcissistic abuse.
Recognize You Have Been Abused
Narcissistic abuse is not your fault, and you are not to blame. Thriving from narcissistic abuse means getting real about what happened. It helps to acknowledge you have been abused. Many survivors struggle with accepting the fact that the person they once trusted and loved abused them. Knowledge is power. Recognizing you have been abused is one of the first steps to start protecting yourself.
Take care of your emotional needs
The emotional impact of narcissistic abuse is very strong. One of the most damaging effects of narcissistic abuse is the various forms of constant manipulation. Gaslighting, blame-shifting, and triangulation are just a few of the ways your mind and emotions get jumbled. All of this makes survivors lose their confidence and self-esteem and doubt themselves. Part of taking care of your emotional needs is validating yourself consistently.
You must sharpen your emotional wellness. Practice identifying your emotions without judgment. It is important to note that you will feel many highs and lows as you process the trauma of narcissistic abuse. Feelings of anger, sadness, fear, and despair are common. Thriving after narcissistic abuse means processing the betrayal trauma and grief from the experience.
Go to Counseling
Focusing on your mental health is crucial to healing from narcissistic abuse. Being with a narcissist is very chaotic. The need for clarity and stability reigns supreme. To come out of the fog it is important to connect with a counselor. Choose a counselor who you feel comfortable working with to address your concerns. Consider a counselor who has experience in working with betrayal trauma, narcissistic abuse, and grief. In counseling, you will be able to discuss the various concerns you have about your experiences. There you will be able to learn healthy coping skills and strategies. You can also expect to come to points of resolution and clarity. Counseling allows you a safe opportunity to reestablish yourself in a holistic way.
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GET THE DOWNLOADSGet Physical
A vital part of healing from narcissistic abuse is maintaining your physical health. The lack of stability and safety makes it difficult for you to make decisions and take any meaningful direction in your life. Make sure you’re eating well and staying hydrated. As difficult as it is to stop the racing thoughts at night, create an evening routine to help you get better sleep. Exercising regularly helps. You don’t have to become the top Cross fitter in the world but take physical steps for your body. Establishing routines for your mornings and evenings help you create stability. This will help you build your confidence.
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Give Yourself Time
This is the part that usually makes my clients upset. When I tell them that it’s going to take time. The feelings of desperation, defeat, and agony is surely overwhelming. No matter what is important to remember you must give yourself time. Your heart isn’t going to automatically stop caring for the narcissist. Your first inclination may still be about what their best interest is before your own. Be kind to yourself. As you begin to thrive after narcissistic abuse it is important to remember you are working to unlearn unhealthy behaviors. Take time for yourself.
Focus On Your Healing Journey
Focusing on your personal healing journey will push you light years ahead of the pain. You can be aware of other people’s experiences but do not compare your progress to anyone. Everyone’s experience with healing from narcissistic abuse is different. Your healing journey is unique to you. There is no perfect timeline for healing from narcissistic abuse. Celebrate your progress. Do not judge the length of your healing journey. Some parts of the process might come very quickly, while other moments and experiences are still triggering for you. Remember healing from narcissistic abuse is possible.
Practice Self-Care
Self-care is personal. It is not selfish, it is survival. Practicing self-care creates safety and stability. Consistently practicing self-care and self-love establishes a healthy foundation for continued healing. Engage in activities you enjoy. Consider options that are the most supportive for you. If bubble baths and morning walks work great or maybe you like staying in your pjs all weekend and having a good cry. Do what works for you. Do not overcommit, do not run from your emotions, and do not judge yourself for feeling whatever you are feeling.
It is important to remember in times like this we are not always our best selves, the pitfalls and mountaintops of the healing process are hard to navigate. Instead of judging yourself for past or present behavior practice taking each moment one step at a time.
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FIND JOYPracticing Self-Compassion
Self-compassion is essential. Like emotional wellness acknowledging your feelings, exploring your emotions is important. Being kind to yourself and giving yourself grace is the top tier to thriving after narcissistic abuse. Negative self-talk and unforgiveness of yourself are not healthy options. The different types of narcissistic abuse you have or are experiencing from the narcissist are difficult to manage the last thing I want you to do is to be judgmental towards yourself.
When you practice self-compassion, it does not mean that you are giving yourself excuses. It means you are practicing being compassionate towards yourself. When you find yourself struggling with this aspect consider how you would talk to a friend who you care deeply about who is in a similar situation. Use that as a guide to help you support yourself.
Seek Support
Being in a narcissistic abusive relationship is very isolating and lonely. It is important to connect with your support system. There is strength in numbers. You do not have to tell your support system every single detail of your experience. It is helpful to connect with people who will support you. Choose people who you believe will be kind and compassionate. Trusted family and friends as well as counselors are valuable resources. To make progress it is important to have safe spaces to process your emotions and experiences.
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Set Clear and Firm Boundaries
Your boundaries must be intact and maintained consistently. As you become more grounded in your values, emotions, and mental Wellness you will be able to set boundaries for yourself and others better. You are not being a bad or mean person by establishing and using boundaries. They serve as a way for you to protect and not betray yourself.
People who have problems with you setting firm boundaries are giving major red flag warning signs. It also means you really need to set the boundary with them. Be prepared, it will feel uncomfortable in the beginning, especially if you are not used to setting boundaries. Stay the course and keep those boundaries intact.
Narcissists are notorious for not respecting boundaries. Their sense of entitlement and self-serving nature makes them more likely to overstep your boundaries. Setting clear firm boundaries is not just about narcissists. It’s about everyone, you included. Boundaries serve as a form of protection and personal guidelines for navigating your life.
Remember You Got This
As painful as this time is remember you got this! You have dealt with a narcissist you can make it through this. Create a peaceful fulfilled life for yourself daily.
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