It is said that the best revenge is living well. When you find the strength to move on from a toxic relationship with a narcissist, it’s a transformative experience. Your healing journey will be filled with many twists, turns, and self-discovery along with the depths of grief valleys, and tremendous peaks of healing. Even when you know it is necessary to break the trauma bond with the narcissist to save yourself it is difficult. A part of you may wonder what happens when the narcissist sees you moving on. This post will give you the behind-the-scenes scoop on what happens when the narcissist sees you moving on.
We will start with the fact that moving on is unique to each person. Moving on means you are not letting the narcissist continue to negatively impact your life. You are not letting their manipulations control you. For some people moving on will look like finding a new partner, starting over in a new city, having a different set of friends, finding a new job, or not engaging with family.
When the narcissist sees you moving on, they panic—because your freedom means losing control over you.
Your Moving On Makes the Narcissist Head Spin
When a narcissist sees you moving on, their emotions become jumbled. First, they do not think you will ever leave. Narcissists count on you to stay connected to them. They do not believe you will have the strength to finally put a stop to the manipulations. They know you care, and they will take everything you have to give them as long as you give it.
Narcissists know they have taken a huge “L” when they lose you. This means no matter what their social media shows, friends, family, and anyone else connected to them reports they know it is over. Social media is not always accurate. If you are still checking their socials (pain shopping, which is a no-go) do not be fooled. The narcissist is not pleased with you moving on. Remember, no one is posting their blooper reels so you might get the highlight report of how amazing their life is but it’s not. Remember, narcs are great manipulators. So, whatever they say, post, and share can and will be a bunch of smoke and mirrors.
Moving on Damages the Narcissist’s Ego
It does not matter if the narcissist acknowledges you moving on directly or not, they notice. When they lose you, it damages their ego. The fact that you can and are thriving without them challenges their sense of self-importance. Narcissists struggle with high levels of insecurity and avoidance of shame. When you stop the cycle of narcissistic abuse it stops the narcissist in their tracks. The insecurities they mask behind manipulations, toxic behaviors, and lies disturb their peace. You’re having the courage to move on shines a bright spotlight on their weaknesses.
Narcissists Worry About Being Replaced
Replacement signifies their lack of importance in your life. At a certain point when you were with the narcissist, they no longer made you feel important, this worked in their favor. Now that you are moving on and the narcissist is no longer important to you their pride is damaged. The negative feelings the narcissists have about themselves is confirmed. The narcissist finds out what they always knew but tried to deny, they are replaceable.
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Narcissists View You Moving On as a Threat to Their Control
The fear of losing control is painfully upsetting to the narcissist. Narcissists view you moving on as a threat to their control because they are losing it. Narcissists thrive on control and manipulation. Seeing you move on disrupts their delusional sense of power over you. Moving forward in your life reminds them that you are capable of making a joyful life without them. This evokes fear in the narcissist. They can no longer manipulate you and they do not like it.
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Loss of Fuel for Their Narcissistic Supply
Narcissists feed off the attention and admiration of others, known as narcissistic supply. When you move on and find joy, they will feel a twinge of jealousy. They crave the attention and validation you once provided. The thought of you no longer needing them triggers many emotions such as envy, grief, low confidence, anger, rage, and resentment. In the narcissist’s selfish eyes, they should always be the center of your universe.
A Blow to Their Fragile Self-Esteem
Narcissists struggle with processing emotions in general. The idea of you moving on is something completely foreign to them. Narcissists possess fragile self-esteem. Replacement serves as a direct assault on their sense of worth. They struggle to understand how someone they deemed inferior could have the courage to move away from them. When you move on it challenges their distorted perception of themselves. You finding clarity to let go exposes the cracks in their fragile self-image.
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Narcissists Fear Being Forgotten
One of the narcissist’s greatest fears is being forgotten. Moving on signifies you are leaving them behind. Erasing their significance from your life puts you light years ahead in your healing and them in the dust of what used to be. They will feel a sense of loss and abandonment. The spotlight that once shone on them goes out. Some narcissists will become desperate to regain your attention. Be on the lookout for the Hoover stage of narcissistic abuse. This is when the narcissist tries to suck you back into being with them. They want to reclaim their place in your life. You must stay out of the narcissist grips of manipulation, chaos, and darkness.
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You Moving on Means Continued Healing for YOU
Live joyfully without the narcissist. Actively take charge of your own life. Moving on from a narcissist is a courageous choice. Continue to prioritize your own healing and growth. While it’s intriguing to explore what happens from the narcissist’s perspective, focus on empowering yourself. Remember, you deserve a life filled with joy, genuine love, and peace. Create it!
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