People spend a lot of time working themselves up to scheduling the counseling appointment. A lot of time a person will consider counseling for weeks, months, or years before finally moving forward. After making the first of many brave steps to change their life of course they want the counseling experience to work.
Before you commit to dropping those dollars and schedule your counseling appointment read this post. You will learn important points to consider to receive the most out of your counseling session and in this case more importantly when a counseling session will not work.
Not being honest end sessions
Yes, as corny as it sounds honesty is key. You’ve heard this a million times before and it’s worth repeating. Communication is key, even in counseling sessions. Being honest with your counselor is essential for positive change. If you are not truthful counseling will not work. When you’re not honest with your counselor it makes it difficult for them to be able to provide adequate treatment and support to your concerns.
I let my clients know if I only have some of the facts then they can only receive some of the benefits. They must be all in. I recognize it can be uncomfortable to talk about different things so I work to make sure that I’m gentle and always respectful of their concerns. This allows me the opportunity to support them in their healing journey. I cheer them on when they’re doing well and tactfully address their challenges.
Not doing the homework
Going to counseling is hard work. You have to be committed, in session and out of session. You must be willing to work. If you and the counselor agree to a homework assignment and you don’t do it you will not receive the benefits. Lack of commitment to the process will not allow counseling to fully work for you. Counseling works as much as you work at it. Not doing the homework at all will not support the positive changes they want to achieve.
I share with my clients how much I love visiting with them in session. They are also aware the next major part of their progress happens when they are not in session. After a fantastic session, I release them back into the wild jungles of life with skills and tools to apply to their life. If a homework activity was more challenging than what they thought no problem. We will regroup and try a different tactic to reach the goal.
The counselor does not use the right approaches
Counseling will not work if the counselor uses techniques that do not work for you. Sometimes it takes a while to find the right strategy to help a specific need a person may have in their life. This means it is helpful to not give up so quickly if progress is not happening as quickly as you would like.
It also encourages you to have a great relationship with your therapist. You should be able able to share with your counselor what has worked and what hasn’t worked for you in the homework. The counselor will not be able to know if things are working for you if you’re not communicating with them. This will negatively affect your counseling experience.
I make sure to work collaboratively with my clients making sure they are open to the different practice activities and skills designed to support them in their journey. A lot of times we come up with the activity together. Sometimes I provide an activity that they feel a little bit uncomfortable with but they’re willing to try. I don’t force my clients to make steps. I do encourage them to go beyond their comfort zone, with the hopes of seeing improvement. They know and feel comfortable letting me know if something is not working or got worse. We work together and make adjustments to help them achieve their goals.
You aren’t willing to go deep
You have to be willing to address the issues you are going through to be able to receive the most benefit. If you aren’t able to open up or be vulnerable with your counselor it will be hard for counseling to work for you. You don’t have to go into the session and spill your guts right off the top. It’s natural to take some time to open up, especially in the first session. The counseling relationship is still being formed. In the beginning stages of counseling, you are still learning to trust the counselor.
As the counselor relationship is formed you must be willing to go deep in addressing your problems. Surface talk will not work. This level of vulnerability is uncomfortable. It’s needed to achieve your goals.
Consider this, if you only stay on the surface you are not getting the full experience. It’s like eating a banana split without ever scooping some of the banana. I mean is it really worth it? You might be thinking do you mean people actually go to counseling and their hearts get cracked open talking about what’s bothering them and they are paying for it? The answer is YES, the brave ones do. They schedule their appointment and show up and do the work. They get what they need and then stop coming or do some light maintenance work and then taper off. If you don’t put in the effort things stay the same. Sometimes things get worse.
Counselor mismatch
Counseling will not work if you and the counselor are not a good match. It makes it difficult on so many levels. It’s hard to open up, hard to trust, and you may not see the benefits in the techniques the counselor uses as helpful to you.
Counselor client mismatches happen. You may have to visit with a few counselors until you find that great fit for you. Typically it takes a couple of sessions to know if you and the counselor are a good match. A lot of times this means having more than one session to get a good feel for the counselor’s way of working with you. The first session is generally a little bit awkward. It may feel like an interview. You might feel uncomfortable. This is why it is helpful to go to more than one session before making your final decision about if the counselor is a good fit for you.
Unless you felt completely uncomfortable and you did not believe the counselor was going to be a good match in effectively helping you, then continue your search for your great counselor fit.
I share with my clients how important it is for them to find a good counselor match for them even if it isn’t me. I respect the healing journey and them so much that I recognized to get to a healthy place they have to feel comfortable with who they are going to be opening up to you about their life. It’s a profoundly personal experience.
Being inconsistent in your counseling session attendance
Dropping in and out of sessions does not help for counseling to work. If you are not consistent in your attendance at your counseling sessions you will not receive the most benefit. Don’t be a dropout. You can have an emergency that might cause a reschedule or a quick cancellation. Sporadically attending sessions and hoping to see progress is a no-go. Consistency is key. Your appointment schedule will be specific to your needs. You and your counselor will discuss what is best for you.
No-showing to your scheduled appointment will not allow counseling to work for you. Ghosting your counselor is not a way to make the progress you want for yourself. Plus this can cost you if you’ve already signed the agreements a no-show to an appointment fee will be charged at either half price or full price for the session you did not attend. At that point, you’re throwing money away.
Use this information to make the most of your counseling experience
There you have it, points you need to consider before committing to start your counseling experience, without wasting your time and money. Use this information to help you get the most out of your counseling experience.
My team and I are here to help you in your healing journey. If you are ready to get started let’s go! This is the moment where you say YES, to becoming the best version of yourself. Look no further and schedule your appointment today.
Receive clarity, confidence, and closure with our help
Let’s embark on a transformative journey together. Our process is designed to help you heal. We will guide you to safety, help you rebuild, and teach you how to invite joy into your life. We will rediscover your inner self and unlock your true power.
We provide online counseling in Texas only.