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Narcissistic Abuse Recovery

Why The Narcissist Wants to Destroy You

If you are reading this, it probably means you feel like the narcissist is doing EVERYTHING they can to destroy you and your life. The person you once felt was trusted has now become a monster. This blog post is going to help you understand more about narcissistic behavior and why narcissists want to destroy you.

Narcissists Need to Control

Narcissists like power and control. They use many manipulative behaviors to destroy their victims. They can protect their fragile egos while still appearing to be something they are not. The highs and lows of toxic relationships make it difficult for victims and survivors to fully understand what is happening.

Their dangerously calculating skill to dominate others is disastrous to all who are not aware of who they are behind the mask. Being controlling makes them feel powerful, and inflates their confidence. The power and confidence they have is fake but feel very real to the victim who feels overwhelmed, exhausted, and destroyed.

Narcissist ability to control allows them to maintain their fake self-image. Being able to control their victims keeps them stuck in the snares of the narcissist traps. The narcissist’s need for control makes them look for ways to manipulate in every situation, and they will do what it takes to keep it.

An example of how narcissist controlling behavior happens is when they isolate their victims from friends and family to ensure they have no support network. This type of control is done to keep the victim reliant on them.

Narcissists Have Underlying Insecurity

Many narcissists struggle with loving themselves. They have extremely high levels of insecurity. This is why eventually you get more criticisms than compliments from them. They battle with how they feel about themselves, so they are not able to feel great about you.

Narcissist’s internal struggles to override their low self-esteem make their lives miserable. The lack of confidence destroys them from the inside out. Since they struggle with loving themselves, they have no problem destroying their victims.

Narcissists know what they are doing. They choose partners who will provide value to their lives, and then they use them. Narcissists the emotional soul-sucking vampires will destroy every bit of your life if you are not careful. Their constant need for validation and admiration boosts their malicious need to destroy their victims. Since they do not feel good about themselves, they are not going to make life comfortable for you either.

You can only have a good day if they are having a good day. You can’t thrive unless they do, you can rest unless they do. For the narcissist, life is all about them, and if not, they will burn the whole house down and blame you for it.

Being tortured by their deep-seated insecurity makes life unbearable for the victims. This is why after a while you are no longer able to see the person you knew when you first met. The narcissistic mask begins to slip, and their true character comes through.

When people have narcissistic parents, friends, co-workers, bosses, organizations, or institutions in their lives they too are no longer in the honeymoon phase of that connection. Ultimately the narcissistic mask slips and the destruction begins.

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Narcissist Hate That You Know

The arguments, heated discussions, fights, tears, and angry outbursts all uncover different parts of the narcissist’s character. Narcissists hate being exposed. They care about how people view them. Narcissists dread vulnerability and your knowledge of who they are makes them vulnerable. After the narcissist mask has slipped and their true character is exposed, they know you see them. You no longer view them the same way and they know it. They are no longer the safe person you felt so connected to and it hurts you both. The narcissist does not like you knowing who they are, and because you have seen the narcissist without their mask, they hate you for it.

The Narcissist is Not Concerned About Your Needs

Narcissists are not able to see other people’s perspectives as important. For the narcissist, their point of view is the only thing that matters. Their truth is the one that counts. They cannot often empathize with others. They are not able to be compassionate to others but surely expect others to be compassionate towards them.

Their inability to understand the emotional and mental pain they cause their victims results in them inflicting severe harm. They do not have remorse, and if so, it is fleeting. For instance, they may dismiss their victim’s feelings and gaslight them into believing they are overreacting. They will minimize the victim’s feelings and carry on their war path of destruction.

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You Will Not Go Back to Them

If you have been able to break free from the narcissists and not go back to them good for you. Narcissistic abuse recovery is painfully difficult. Narcissists do not like rejection, and they fear being abandoned. When you do not go back to the narcissist they feel rejected. The rejection hurts their ego. The rejection is also a form of abandonment and damages the narcissist’s ego. The rejection causes a narcissistic injury to their pride. They want to destroy you because you are no longer accepting them or their toxic behavior.

To be clear, the narcissist is perfectly okay with rejecting you. When narcissists break up, abandon, ghost, or divorce you that is acceptable. Generally, they would also like to still have access to you. When you do not allow the narcissist to still have access to you, they will feel rejected and want to destroy you.

Narcissists Do Not Want You to Have Joy

Because narcissists are miserable, they want you to be miserable too. Narcissists will do whatever it takes to sabotage your joy. Often, the criticism and cruelty narcissists inflict on their victims reflect their own insecurities. When narcissists project their self-doubt onto their victims, they temporarily relieve their emotional burdens. For example, they may accuse the victim of being untrustworthy when, in reality, it’s the narcissist who struggles with trust issues.

When the narcissist can highlight the victim’s insecurities they put themselves in a position of power. This allows them to continue to destroy their victims piece by piece. Narcissists who are not able to highlight victims’ insecurities will plant seeds of doubt to create insecurities in victims that never existed.

Manipulating You Makes Life Convenient for the Narcissist  

Narcissists are master manipulators. This allows them to keep their victims entangled in toxic relationships. The toxic relationship mixed with the trauma bond and the cycle of narcissistic abuse makes it difficult for victims to heal.

Narcissists will alternate between false presentations of love and unbelievably high levels of cruelty. They do this to confuse and control their victims. The manipulation destroys the victims. The abuse becomes difficult to escape, and this benefits the narcissist.

The narcissist benefits by having you in their life. Even when the narcissist is vengefully hurtful but still has access to their victims, they benefit from the victim’s presents. The narcissist would want to destroy you to have full access to all of you and your gifts.

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Narcissists Care About Themselves More Than They Care About You

Narcissists want to keep you stuck. Not being able to have joy and peace because of the narcissist supports the narcissist’s best interest. When a person is unable to be manipulated by the narcissist the narcissist sees the person as a threat. The person then becomes a target to be destroyed. Protecting the narcissist’s best interest is more important to them than protecting you. The narcissists will destroy you to maintain what they want for themselves.

Do Not Let the Narcissist Destroy You

If you are a victim of narcissistic abuse, it’s essential to recognize the behaviors of the narcissist are not your fault. Their behavior says more about them. Start your healing journey to narcissistic abuse recovery. Your experiences are unique to you. There is joy waiting on the other side of this battle. Keep fighting. Do NOT let the narcissist destroy you.

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