No one gets married to get a divorce. If you find yourself reading this post it probably means that your marriage is struggling. It is natural to have tears in your eyes as you read looking for hope and answers to restore what was once so beautiful. Questions of should I stay or should I go probably fill your head, while your heart keeps you hanging on to hope. You may or may not have a support system. Fear of being judged keeps you isolated. Feelings of being trapped be making you feel lost. Stop the confusion, find clarity, and gain answers. This post will help you to explore helpful options before you start marriage counseling.
Commitment is a must
Both people need to be committed to starting marriage counseling. Exploring the commitment level of your partner and yourself is important for starting the process. When only one person is committed it makes the counseling process unsuccessful for the couple. Dragging the person to counseling will not improve your marriage. Giving ultimatums will not work either. Before you decide to go to counseling for your marriage discuss the commitment level of your marriage and the marriage counseling experience with your partner.
Although there are no surefire ways to fully know the person’s level of commitment explore this area before starting couples counseling. You don’t want to experience a performative act of going through the motions of therapy with no true intentions to make changes.
Couple’s counseling is expensive, It’s typically not covered by insurance. More than the financial cost it will cost you the full commitment from you both to receive the full benefit from the marriage counseling experience.
Willingness and honesty are required
If you all have decided you will start marriage counseling each of you must be willing in the process. You must be honest in the marriage counseling experience. This means being open with each other and the counselor. In order for healing to begin be willing to express everything, emotions, experiences, strengths as well as fears, and more.
Counseling takes work and I must let you know a lot of times it gets worst before it gets better. You are going to enter the session feeling a mix of emotions. You might be angry, hurt, afraid, or come wanting answers, and resolution. There are no shortcuts to this process. Understand it is natural to cry, shout, get frustrated, feel hurt, and be triggered. It doesn’t mean it’s not working. The varied emotions and perspectives speak to the complexity of marriage.
Whenever two people come together they bring their hopes, dreams, expectations, past traumas, and more and work to build a life together. This is hard. It can be done.
BONUS: A great counselor will not take sides but hear you both as you express. The counselor will want to hear the history of your relationship as well as the challenges that brought you into marriage counseling. The first session may feel like an interview and you may not get to talk as much in detail as you will like. It’s only the first session there’s still a lot of room for growth.
We offer marriage and couples counseling
Learn skills to successfully navigate through trust issues, communication problems, and much more. Begin to work together and create the type of marriage and relationship worth showing up for daily. More info. here.
Marriage and couples counseling with a narcissist
Going to marriage or couples counseling with a narcissist will not “fix” your marriage. It is important to know some narcissists will pretend to commit to counseling to improve the marriage. They do this as an attempt to manipulate more. Read more about what to do in reference to marriage and couples counseling with a narcissist here.
It gets worse before it gets better
This is the part that people don’t want to hear. It takes a lot of effort to make a marriage work. if one person is putting in the effort in the other person is not it is highly likely that there will be some major challenges ahead. This is why checking the commitment level, willingness, and honesty of each partner is important.
The homework is hard, do it
The marriage counseling process like the individual counseling process is hard work. You will discuss a lot in the session. A lot of the work happens outside of the session. This is where you take what you have learned and apply it to your marriage. When the counselor gives you activities follow the instructions provided.
BONUS: Do not just do the homework right before the session, this will not allow you to receive the greatest benefit from the marriage counseling process. You are paying for this, get your money’s worth in and outside of counseling.
Receive clarity, confidence, and closure with our help
Let’s embark on a transformative journey together. Our process is designed to help you heal. We will guide you to safety, help you rebuild, and teach you how to invite joy into your life. We will rediscover your inner self and unlock your true power.
We provide online counseling in Texas only.